Sooty taught me the true meaning of love.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Success!
For all those who asked (my wife), my trip overseas was a complete success. While I was widely ignored by the media and Fergie, I did get to meet my idol:
Sooty taught me the true meaning of love.
Sooty taught me the true meaning of love.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Holiday!
Enough of this leadership speculation. I'm going overseas. I will now show you my itinerary.
Countries I am visiting:
USA
England
Countries I am not visiting:
Palau
Tonga
American Samoa
Rhodesia
Burkina Faso.
Bosnia.
That country with the poor people.
Paris.
I am meeting with the senior secretaries to the senior associates of the casual receptionists of some senior officials. Also, and don't tell the media this, I plan to meet Fergie. Yeah, I'd tap that ass.
Countries I am visiting:
USA
England
Countries I am not visiting:
Palau
Tonga
American Samoa
Rhodesia
Burkina Faso.
Bosnia.
That country with the poor people.
Paris.
I am meeting with the senior secretaries to the senior associates of the casual receptionists of some senior officials. Also, and don't tell the media this, I plan to meet Fergie. Yeah, I'd tap that ass.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Peter Costello speculation
There is nasty speculation among the meaner journalists in the Press Gallery that Peter Costello is going to come and take away my job.
I say, he had his chance at the leadership, so there. But to quell speculation we had a "bit of a chat".
We met in a local Starbucks. I was a little early, so I ordered a double-tall-vanilla-skim-soy-latte flavoured beverage. Eventually, Costello sauntered in, saw me, and smirked.
"Hello Dr. Nelson" he said "You have my full support."
Thank God. My job is safe. I will lead the Liberals to a stunning victory in the next election.
We spent the next 3 hours talking about general topics. Creedance. Our favourite alcopops. Our disappointment that Starbucks are closing (we'll have to go to Queanbeyan to get good coffee).
At the end of our meeting Costello grabbed my hand, pulled me close and whispered "Don't turn around. From now on, I've got your back."
What a great guy.
I say, he had his chance at the leadership, so there. But to quell speculation we had a "bit of a chat".
We met in a local Starbucks. I was a little early, so I ordered a double-tall-vanilla-skim-soy-latte flavoured beverage. Eventually, Costello sauntered in, saw me, and smirked.
"Hello Dr. Nelson" he said "You have my full support."
Thank God. My job is safe. I will lead the Liberals to a stunning victory in the next election.
We spent the next 3 hours talking about general topics. Creedance. Our favourite alcopops. Our disappointment that Starbucks are closing (we'll have to go to Queanbeyan to get good coffee).
At the end of our meeting Costello grabbed my hand, pulled me close and whispered "Don't turn around. From now on, I've got your back."
What a great guy.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I'm back
Sorry about my unexplained absence. It turns out Malcolm Turnbull snuck into my office one night and changed all my passwords to malcolmrox2008. Very funny, Malcolm. I was unable to log in.
I suggested that he is so funny he should be in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Malcolm told me that his act would involve him reading my press releases.
I had no response at that particular time.
At 11pm I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and texted "You suck Malcolm".
I owned him.
I suggested that he is so funny he should be in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Malcolm told me that his act would involve him reading my press releases.
I had no response at that particular time.
At 11pm I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and texted "You suck Malcolm".
I owned him.
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