Nelson Facts #1

Little known fact about me:

I am one hard-nosed motherfucker motorcyclist. Just dig this quote from my website:

As any motorcyclist will tell you, safety gear is essential to enjoying your time on the road. I have two bike jackets.

Born to be wild, baby.

There is nothing more I love than flying down the road at a relatively safe thirty kilometers per hour, a mild breeze in my face, and a stomach full of decaf.

I'm a bad arse and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially that Malcolm Turnbull who does NOT have a motorcycle and is NOT a doctor. Never has been, never will be.

Abject Failure?

After the abject failure of my Listening Tour, I have been considering about going on a tour with John Farnham, you know, Nelson & Farnsey: The National Tour or something like that.

I brought this idea up at the staff meeting this morning, and everyone was so impressed that they were unable to speak for several minutes. My media adviser, in particular, was so touched that tears sprang to her eyes and she had to leave the room to compose herself.

I have spent the day so far locked in my office, practising for the tour. Then the shocking news came - John Farnham's manager was in jail, and thus Farnham was incommunicado.

Wheatley in prison? I was shocked. So shocked I leapt to my feet and picked up the telephone.

"Operator, give me the number for John Farnham........Hello?"

No luck there. I hope Johhny reads this blog.

If you're out there, John, please contact me through the Australian Medical Association, of which I am a member because the prefix Dr. precedes my own name.

Hello, and welcome

Hello, and welcome to my blog.

As you've probably seen on TV, my leadership is in a bit of strife right now. The standing of my party is slightly below that of the Australian Democrats. But not to worry. I have full faith in the Australian people, and the tax laws of our country that will put Malcolm Turnbull away for a very long time.

Also I am a doctor.

See you around, flyboy.